How to Love Your Man, Especially on His Birthday

Today my husband turns another year older.  And I am one girl who is thankful that his parents wanted a third child 33 years ago.

We’ve been married now for close to 9 years, and I am still figuring this marriage thing out.  As a wife, I’ve learned more about my own pride and selfishness than I’d care to admit, but I’ve also learned more about love than I expected to.  And I don’t mean the romantic, feel good kind of love.  I mean the lay-your-life-down love that is required in a husband/wife relationship.

Here we are in Gatlinburg with my family while we were dating back in 2005.
Brent.Courtney.2005

So, on this special day for Brent, I present to you 3 ways that wives can love their husbands & make much of them, especially on their birthdays.

Pray for him.
Prayer is such a selfless way to love your husband.  He may not even be aware that you’ve prayed for him, but by doing so, your own heart will become more tender toward him, and it can bring about real spiritual blessings in his life.

When I think of praying for my husband, I think in 2 categories:

  • thanking God for him &
  • making requests of God for him.

No doubt there are endless qualities you can be thankful for in your man.  The trick is to get specific.  Here’s a list to help you get started:

Thank God that he was born. (It is his birthday, after all!)
Thank God for his strengths (which is a whole list in and of itself).
Thank God that he knows the Lord & walks with Him.
Thank God for how he loves you & is committed to you.
Thank God for how he provides for your family.
Thank God for the practical ways he helps at home.
Thank God for how He’s grown & sanctified your hubby since you’ve been married.
Thank God for what a great daddy he is.
Thank God for how he points you to the Lord.
Thank God for your differences, which probably cause you both to be more dependent on God.

Besides thanking God for your man, you can also request some things for him.

Ask God to strengthen his walk with the Lord and prayer life.
Ask God to encourage and fortify his soul with the truths of Scripture.
Ask God to make His strength perfect in your hubby’s weaknesses.
Ask God to make him more and more like Christ.
Ask God to help your husband exhibit more of the fruits of the Spirit.
Ask God to give him friendships with other men that bring laughter & true comradery.
Ask God to bless him in his job & that he’d work as unto the Lord.
Ask God to give him wisdom in how he leads your family.
Ask God to make his life count to the max for the sake of Christ.

Prefer him.
This is the second way you can love your husband.  On his birthday, this actually comes pretty easily, but what about the other 364 days of the year?  For me, it is a daily struggle and choice of putting my will to the side and choosing his preferences over my own.

I can’t help but think of Jesus’ example, mentioned in Philippians 2, that we must put others’ interests above our own.  But 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 also gives us some instruction.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.

As Brent’s wife, as much as I want to insist on my own way, I must actually love him by preferring him, even when I don’t feel like it.

What can make this a little easier is looking to God with faith in those moments that are the hardest to prefer our husband over ourselves.

When the choice comes to love him by not demanding our own way, we must turn our thoughts to the Father and pray, “God, I trust you.  You see what I’m giving up.   Help me to love him more than myself.  I trust you to take care of me & to provide what’s best for me.  If this is removed, I trust that you will give me all I need, even if it’s not this thing.”

Party with him.
This one is pretty obvious if it’s your hubby’s birthday.  How does your husband prefer to celebrate his birthday?  Below is a picture of us from 2 years ago with friends celebrating Brent’s day with steak and potatoes.

group_edited

Other years we’ve kept it quiet and gone out to dinner, just the two of us.  Or you can always surprise your guy with a party in a fun location that he’d never expect.  If you like to cook, go all out and fix him his favorite dish.  And we haven’t even mentioned any number of thoughtful gift ideas.

And lastly, I’ll offer one last piece of advice to the wives out there.  If all else fails, just get the kids to bed, and then grab your man and get naked!  Ha, ha!  No doubt your husband would feel loved!  Maybe I shouldn’t say “if all else fails” though.  I’m sure most hubbies would want this at the top of the list of how to be loved instead of squeezed in here as the very last thing.

Wives, let’s love our men & happy birthday to mine!


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