5 Ways a Wise Woman Builds Her House

5 Ways a Wise Woman Builds Her House Thoughts from Proverbs courtneylmoore.com
When my family moved to a new state last year, my husband and I looked at tons of houses trying to find the right one.  As we walked through each home, I noticed within me an underlying hope, that the promise of a happy and fruitful future for our family was just around the corner, perhaps in one of those houses.

As I was reading through Proverbs recently, I was reminded of the optimism that seems to accompany the purchase of a new home.  If you think about it, no one ever imagines themselves moving into a new house only to be grumpy, unhealthy or in conflict. We all believe the best is yet to come, and it’s going to happen in that beautiful new space.

I think there is something right about having that kind of fresh hope.  The bright future we long for is possible, and it turns out that living wisely has a lot to do with it.  Proverbs 14:1 speaks specifically to women who have a desire to see their families flourish, and it gives us a warning as well.   

The wisest of women builds her house,
but folly with her own hands tears it down.
Proverbs 14:1

Proverbs 14.1 || 5 Ways a Wise Woman Builds Her House || courtneylmoore.com

God has put within our hearts as women a deep desire to settle, to nest, to build a beautiful home for our families.  Ultimately, this home is not created with brick and mortar, but with the eternal means that come from the Spirit of God.

Conversely, we are capable of tearing down that house, as well.   We can destroy the good work and progress that has been cultivated by the Spirit of God in our households by acting in the foolishness of our own flesh.   How about this for a visual:

A House Torn Down || 5 Ways a Wise Woman Builds Her House || courtneylmoore.com

That is not something I want to be part of.  Instead of contributing to this awful picture of destruction, I would love for my presence in our home to be one of building up, creating good, establishing righteousness, edifying others, modeling godliness and giving life and joy to those God has placed closest to me.

So how can we build our houses with wisdom?  I’ve listed 5 ways here.  See if you agree, and please feel free to add more in the comments below.

5 Ways a Wise Woman Builds Her House

{Preface: I’m learning that these qualities render the most fruit in our homes when they’ve been established as a routine or habit.  This won’t happen overnight, but even baby steps in the right direction is a win.}

1. By Seeking God, for herself and her family.  (Proverbs 9:10 and 4:20-22)
I’ve been waking up before my children lately to meet with the Lord.  I read the Bible and journal my prayers and thoughts.  This time has literally fueled me for the day ahead. Because of His Spirit, I’m more prepared to greet and serve my children when they wake up.

Mamas, do you think of yourself as leaders?  Let’s model and lead our children to seek the Father in His Word and prayer.   Seeking God and teaching your kids to do the same is the most essential step in building a house that endures.  Indeed, it is the foundation of the house itself.

2.  By Participating in Joyful Productivity in the Home (Proverbs 10:4-5, 12:11, 13:4 and Proverbs 14:23)
I’m the girl who likes to stop and smell the roses, preferably with coffee in hand.  I’m notjoyful productivity naturally wired to press in and work hard.  As another blogger described herself in her similar struggle,  “I’m a be-er, not a do-er.”  In my 10 years of marriage and 5 years of motherhood, I’ve learned that being unproductive at home profits no one, not even myself.

I’m finally accepting that the work of home is mostly my work, predominantly my responsibility.  I resisted this for years, believing it was unfair that the heavy-lifting fell to me.  Once I finally gave it, I found joy in working hard in my home, took delight in being a good steward of God’s gifts, and felt less frustrated with my husband for not doing it himself.  I’m still in process, but I’ve definitely come a long way!  I found this post to be helpful in changing my mindset toward responsibility.  Women who wisely establish the pattern of joyful hard work contribute to building up their house.

3.)  By serving others in faith.  (Proverbs 3:27, 11:25 and 19:17)
We know we should be hospitable, do good works and serve others, yet for the most part, we don’t.  Is it for lack of motivation?  The more I learn about the nature of God’s Kingdom, the more I want to serve.

Have you ever noticed how in the Kingdom of God the way up is down?  God’s Kingdom is completely opposite of our own logic.  Let me show you some examples:
-If you want to be first, actually choose to be last (Matthew 20:24-28).
-If you want to get, you must give (Luke 6:38).
-You are to do good to your enemies, not take revenge.
-If they slap you in the face, you are to turn and let them do it on the other cheek as well.
-If they want your coat, give them your shirt as well.
-If they drag you 1 mile, actually go 2 (Matthew 5:38-42).

Amazingly, God established His kingdom to surprise the world with its nature of humility, love and trust in His ways.  Thinking on these things has brought new motivation for me to serve others.
Motivation #1: If I serve others as He instructs, even when it makes no sense, He will give me blessing and success.
Motivation #2: If I operate according to His ways, especially to unbelievers, I demonstrate His heart as Father. (Matthew 5:43-47)
Motivation #3: It’s just fun to make others feel special and loved! <3

4.)  By Setting a tone of LOVE in the home.  (Proverbs 31:26, 25:11, 15:23)
The Father sets the pace /  The Mother sets the tone /  Together, they make a home.   My pastor quoted this on Father Day, and it stuck with me. Now that I have kids, I realize what influence my demeanor has in our home.  They really do sense what’s going on with us.  We can try to hide sinful heart problems like bitterness, anxiety or anger, but it eventually does come out and effect our homes.

Ladies, let’s laugh more.  Let’s have more tickles and pillow fights and laughter… more laughter and more smiles.  Let’s lighten up and LOVE in our homes.  Let’s be less serious and play more games with our kids.  And we can do this best when we are at peace with God… content with where He has us and in submission to His ways.  Wisdom calls for love, and love always builds up.

5.)  By enjoying a rest that brings fruit with it.  (Proverbs 11:30, 25:16, 31:31)
How do you spend your down time?  If it were up to me, I’d become a couch potato and binge-watch all of Downton Abbey in one sitting.  But I know that vegging on the couch won’t bring good fruit or abundant life.  It just continues to cultivate laziness within me.

So, how can I relax in a way that honors God?  Well, I don’t think all TV watching dishonors God. Maybe instead of watching 6 hours of Downton Abbey, I could stop long before that and then find a more life-giving way to spend some time.  Going to bed earlier might be a good start?

So, how can we relax, but at the same time not waste our lives?
-Read biographies or books that teach us something new/encourage us/inspire us.
-Create beautiful art projects (sewing, photography, coloring in an adult color book, painting, etc.).
-Grabbing inspiration for your next project from a magazine (or Pinterest if you have enough self-control!).
-Look through a cookbook for new recipes.
These are just a start, but each example bears more fruit than just watching TV or looking at our phones.  I believe God would honor our change in activity as we seek to walk in wisdom.

James 1.5 courtneylmoore.com

So maybe you haven’t been looking at new homes to purchase, but you feel a sense of fresh optimism for your house from reading this post.  I pray you will believe James 1:5 is true for you and begin asking God to give you wisdom to build your house for His renown.

What would you add to the list?  How has God brought fruit in your home by your faithfulness to walk wisely? 

Photos by:
Steve Larkin
Jamie Hunter
Bob Jagendorf
Sarah Parrott

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One thought on “5 Ways a Wise Woman Builds Her House

  1. Thank you for these great reminders. As a teacher, who has a summer break, I spend a lot of time cleaning, organizing, painting and decluttering before the school year begins again. I often get very tired of all this “I have to do”. I needed to be reminded as I do these things in the summer, it makes my whole year go smoothly and I am more content.

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