3 Ways I’m Learning to be More Patient with my Kids

3 Ways I'm Learning to Be More Patient with my Kids courtneylmoore.com
Before I even begin, I have to tell you, dear reader, this post almost didn’t get published. As soon as I made my outline and began writing, the enemy and my own flesh did a pretty good job of telling me I wasn’t worthy to post on this topic.  Because patience is hard.  And I blew it last weekend.

But as I thought and prayed about it, I realized the truths in this post are still true.  They are still at least part of the answer for overcoming impatience.  So with fear and trembling I give you this post, Mamas, knowing I certainly don’t have it all together.  But I do know Who to turn to for the answer.

And if you’re willing to let another flawed human give you a little point toward some of the help I’ve found, I’d like to give it a try.  How ’bout it?

Our Little Blessings Are Annoying Sometimes

Did I just put that in print?  Well… I did, and if I had to guess, you probably secretly agree.  I know you love your babies, and I love mine.  These children are absolute gifts from the Lord that we wouldn’t trade for anything.

But I don’t think I’d be the first to admit that mine frequently drive me crazy.  Maybe it’s the fussiness when I want some quiet.  Or the neediness when I want a minute to myself.

If I’m not careful, I find myself frustrated and annoyed by these little gifts from the Lord. And I’m sad to say that sometimes my impatience turns ugly – a loud voice, an angry face, harsh words.

And uh… I hate that that’s me sometimes.  These are the little people I’m called to mother. God ordained for me to take care of them and love them.  And here I am impatient and sinning against them.  Can you relate?  Here are some ways I’m learning patience.

3 Ways I’m Learning to be More Patient with my Kids

1. Desire It.
The first step toward growing in patience is to actually want it.  For me, this motivation came from 2 places:

~I was tired of myself.
I have a vision in my mind of the kind of mom I’d like my kids to have and the kind of home I want my kids to experience.  And I wasn’t living up to this.Patient, loving, warm, tons of hugs, soft words, a place saturated with forgiveness… This is the kind of home I want my boys to grow up in and to pass on to their kids.  Why should I let my own sinfulness deter something so beautiful?  Sin doesn’t have to win.  It feels like it does, but that’s a lie.  In Christ, there is power to overcome sin.  He has won that by His resurrection.

~I want to live up to God’s holiness.
I forget which song we were singing  during worship recently,  but the image of the throne room in heaven came to mind.  The holiness that God the Father, Son and Spirit possess was overwhelming to me.  I thought to myself as I sang, I want to be a part of this holiness.  I want to enter in to this fellowship.  God, I want to sin less so I can be more a part of You.  

Being a better mother who is more holy became the catalyst for change in my heart.

2.Reliance on the Holy Spirit
Patience is not something we can work up on our own.  Naturally, we are quite selfish and want things our way on our time table.  I think that’s really the heart of my impatience.  I want it my way, and I’m annoyed when I don’t get it.  James 4 talks about how we usually respond when we don’t get what we want.  (It’s not good.)The Bible says we gain patience as an overflow of walking in the Spirit.  To walk in the Spirit, you must intentionally turn your heart to God at times when you would normally keep your mindset on the circumstances or yourself.Gal. 5.22-23 Growing in Patience with my Kids Courtneylmoore.com
For example, when my boys are being noisy for no apparent reason at all, my natural instinct is to not even think about God and quickly react in the flesh.  But in that moment, instead of simply reacting, I must train my heart to turn toward the Lord.  God, I want to lean on you in this moment.  I want to mother by Your power, not my own.  Help me respond lovingly and patiently to my boys.  I believe You can change me by the power of Your Spirit.This takes practice, friends.  But God can begin to redeem those moments that are usually fraught with sin.  And wouldn’t that be great?  Redemption right there in your living room as He transforms your thinking and your heart over time.  Nothing is impossible for Him.  Do you believe it’s real for you?

3.Pray all day.
I’m learning to begin praying before I get out of bed in the morning.  Again, this is so unnatural to me.  My given attitude in the morning about waking up is usually not pleasant.But through prayer, I’m seeing that God wants to redeem my negative attitude.  We can begin praying first thing (AND BELIEVING) that He will empower us to love our kids and husbands, and be used for Him that day.1 Thess 5.17 Learning Patience with my Kids Courtneylmoore.com
On days I take Jude to school, I pray out loud for him on the way.  When I pick him up, I ask God to give me a love for him that is beyond my natural ability.  In the afternoon when the boys aren’t playing well together, I pray for wisdom and grace to love patiently. By the evening, I am usually so tired, I haven’t yet mastered prayer!  But I’m working on it, and I hope you will too!His grace is sufficient for you, friend.  His power is made perfect in your weakness.  Lean into Him and believe it’s real FOR YOU.

How are you seeing God at work as you mother? Have you had any recent victories?  This community would love to rejoice with you!  Share in the comments below. 

Photos by Bart, Rachael Towne & Aptmetaphor.  Adaptations made by me.

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16 thoughts on “3 Ways I’m Learning to be More Patient with my Kids

  1. Thank you so much for this! I was seriously thinking about asking you to write on this subject a couple of weeks ago! I am really struggling with this right now. I am thankful for your insights! It’s hard being a mommy!!!

    1. Amanda, I am so glad this post was helpful for you! It is hard being a mommy!! Lean into Him… I believe we can see more victory in this area of our lives and our kids will be blessed by it!

  2. Thank you so much for putting your thoughts into writing. Patience is hard. I have been struggling and I have to say that I started with number 3, prayer, because I was not even sure what I was looking for. Then Desire to be a better Mum became clear to me and then I stalled. The Holy Spirit IS the answer. Thank you for reminding me…..I really needed this.

    1. Clare, I’m so glad you’re here and so thankful that this post was helpful to you. Prayer is always a great place to start, no matter the situation. I will pray that through God’s Spirit, He enables you to be more than you could be on your own!

  3. Thank you so much for sharing this. I feel that my situation has been heard and your words are certainly encouraging. I need to turn to God first, not my flesh. Thank you for the great reminder.

    1. Kit, I’m so thankful this post was an encouragement to you. Tomorrow is a brand new day, full of grace for you to step into!

  4. This is what I think on daily, all day. And it is the post I needed for support. Both that others think these good things, desire these very things, pray …and then find in a single flash of arguing children, that you have fallen again. And need to begin again. Thank you for this post

    1. Marianne, you’re so welcome. You are not in it alone, sister! There’s new grace every morning & every hour!

  5. Thank you so much for sharing this. I totally agree that we need to ask the Holy Spirit for guidance and wisdom as we care for our children.and to display the love of Christ in all things.
    Children are blessing from the Lord and He wants us to enjoy each moment with them.

    1. Neema, so glad you’re here! They are certainly a blessing & one that helps us become more like Christ as we mother them well =)

  6. Yes I always had trouble shopping with my girls wanting to spend way to much. I prayed and on the last shopping trip they made a list of all they needed jackets, pants, shirt, sweater and etc. We decided on an amount and not a penny over They went shopping at the mall. By the end they decided the mall was to expensive and were depressed, wanting to go home. I didnt have to argue or say no. I said lets go to Rosses reluctantly they went and had a great time. They found everything on the list but two items. Now I love shopping with my girls and think there learning how to be more responsible with money. Sometimes we try our patience in certain situations, that we could change. # Still learning

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